I 'want' You

This post was inspired by the following words I read on Instagram on @humansofny. I found them so relatable. 

“I never really felt like ‘one of the guys’ when I was growing up. I felt a lack of acceptance. I wasn’t the guy who was playing on the team, or going to IHOP after prom, or getting invited to birthday bashes. I’m not saying that I was a complete loner. I was relatable—just never enough to be included. I tried out for the football team in high school. I put everything into it. I got a trainer and everything. I was going to play, start, and become that person. But it never quite happened. And in a way, I still feel like I’m trying to get there. I just got into the grad school of my dreams. I interned at the White House last summer. I’m joining Teach For America. Part of me still feels that if I can elevate my image to a certain level, then people will be attracted to me. And I’m trying to get beyond that. I’ve been listening to this sermon lately called 'Getting To The Core.' And that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. I want to wake up knowing that it will be OK, no matter what I accomplish."

I reflected on them and on my own situation and this blog post came about.

A reminder to myself....

The Core

I think it's important for us as human to accept ourselves, flaws and all. 

This whole trying to 'fit in' and trying to get to a 'higher position' is nothing but destruction to the soul and in the end will leave us feeling empty when we, so call, 'have it all'. The happiest people, I have noticed, are not the ones in the 'high positions' or the ones who 'have it all', they are the ones who have 'found themselves'. 

When one is searching for meaning and understanding in life and when one is on the path of searching for knowledge one inevitably finds God. God brings you to Him because He loves you and true serenity and happiness is Only with God. He created us to worship Him Alone and not to worship the world, satan, this worldly life and people. That's what burdens our core and brings about our anger, sadness, grief, anxiety, stress, miserliness, cowardliness, the burden of debts and being overpowered by people.

It is a guarantee that this world will break ones heart. It was made that way for a reason. It's a trial and test - from God - for us, to see who is most sincere at heart.

Don't wear your 'heart on your sleeve' or become 'cold-hearted' because anyone can come along and break your heart and they most surely will one day. Take heart. Guard your heart. Open your heart to peace. May peace (salam) be with us all.

Stop with this 'want, want want'. Please. It's no good for you. It's hurting you. The wisdom one needs to figure out - in this 'want' - is that the materialism does not benefit humanity [spiritually] one bit. Only a sincere heart full of love and faith will benefit humanity in the end. 

This 'want' is destructive to a person. It leaves one displeased, dissatisfied and ungrateful. 

Growing up and living in the West, when I analyse the culture here, it is a culture of 'want' to some extent. When I say 'want' - I mean - when we always want 'things' - materialism and it comes in many many forms (I'll leave it up to you to decide the many forms of materialism because for each and every person it is different). This can leave people in a spiral of despair because 'want', 'attachment' and 'comparison' go hand in hand - they are triplet flames (soul mates if you will), and as the saying goes "comparison is the thief of joy". They are very destructive to the heart.

Worldly Want + Worldly Attachment + Worldly Comparison = Equation of the Broken Hearted People.

What we should really want is a connection with God. We need God. Know that God does not need us mere mortals, God is the Almighty free of all want. We need God. He is our Creator and knows what's best for us.

Take Heart

I have walked many miles on this earth. Seen places and come across many people....

My conclusion is that we are in dire need of God. We all need God not just some people. Yet arrogance, ignorance and 'want' of this world has left us in a state of illusion and delusion. 'Want' of this world has made us abandon or neglect God. (May God the Turner of hearts save us from this trial and guide us. God knows best.)

How can we do that to our heart? The 'want'! That emptiness, that void you feel can only be filled with the remembrance of God.

"Verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest." [Quran 13:28]

One can search this earth, chase materialism, chase what ever one 'wants' but the heart will never be filled. There will always be that void. By the grace of God one may find a temporary satisfaction but the emptiness - that void, will return sooner or later. Give it some time it will surely return and you may try and fill it with 'something' else but it's futile in the end. 

The heart needs God. We all need God. Without God we are nothing.

Worldly 'wants', been there... Found nothing. Came back empty handed, broken hearted, lost and in despair. My hands were empty and I raised them to God and He is the Only One who listened and filled the emptiness.

The greatest happiness I have ever found in my whole life is in finding God. In knowing that God loves me and cares for me. Knowing God is always there. Knowing that when the world has trampled all over me God has 'grasped my hands and lifted me up' when I turn to Him.

I could have had the [worldly] dream life, the best job, the best education...but without God I would be empty. There would be no substance; no meaning in my life. 

For many years I was lost and searching. We all go through lows and highs in faith. I learned that just like we need food, we constantly need to revive our heart and soul and nourish it with faith. If we don't we fall into emptiness. Faith is food for the heart and soul it is what brings the heart to life without it we feel dead, empty, lost, confused and alone inside.

I wanted to be rich...beautiful...successful in my work and in the world... I wanted the luxury but I found it all empty and futile in the end. It truly was and is a path of destruction. Snakes coming for you from all four sides - the back, the front, the left and right. The battlefield of life. C'est la vie.

To me, the vortex of the worldly (dunya) life is a spiral into destruction.

I was lost, alone and searching. I looked above to the heavens and put my head to the ground. That is the best of places and that's where my heart found serenity. With God.

I love simplicity. I love nature and the creation of God. I love God most.

I'll tell you what I want now, I want God, I need God. God is enough for me.

The secret and treasure, the heaven (jannah) of this world is in finding God and when you do - you have all you need.

We all go through highs and lows in faith but never lose that connection with God. The most precious thing in the world is your faith. If you lose it it can NEVER be replaced.
Wealth, beauty, family etc - the materialism will all fade one day but your faith will last for eternity. Your faith is your heaven in this world (dunya) and the next - the afterlife (akhirah).

For what shall it profit a wo/man, if they shall gain the whole world (dunya) but lose their own soul (i.e. faith or Eeman)? The answer is nothing - no profit but despair.

May God The Almighty, The Merciful, The Kind, The Turner of hearts guide us all to the straight path and may we never go astray. May we be sincere and love God. May we be Gods beloved servants. May God grant us all jannah-al-firdaus (the highest heaven).

Truly God knows best. May God forgive our shortcomings and errors and make us among the righteous true believers and may peace and blessings be on the gentle man, brother, messenger who walked this earth once upon a time, Muhammad.

I'll end this post with a poem by Rumi:

Tending two shops

Don't run around this world

looking for a hole to hide in.

There are wild beasts in every cave!

If you live with mice,

the cat claws will find you.

The only rest comes

when you're alone with God.

Live in the nowhere that you came from,

even though you have an address here.

That's why you see things in two ways.

Sometimes you look at a person

and see a cynical snake.

Someone else sees a joyful lover,

and you're both right!

Everyone is half and half,

like the black and white ox.

Joseph looked ugly to his brothers,

and most handsome to his father.

You have eyes that see from that nowhere,

and eyes that judge distances,

how high and how low.

You own two shops,

and you run back and forth.

Try and close the ones that's a fearful trap,

getting always smaller. Checkmate,

this way. Checkmate that.

Keep open the shop

where you're not selling fishhooks anymore.

You are the free-swimming fish.

The Core. The Heart. Take Heart. See with your Heart.

Look at the heart. Look for the heart.

"Indeed there is a piece of flesh in your body that, if it be sound, then the whole body will be sound and if it be corrupt then the whole body will be corrupt. Indeed it is the heart.” 

- al-Bukhari [1/49] al-Muslim [1599]